I want you to picture yourself with a ruck sack on. You walk through your life with that ruck sack on.
In the beginning it is light and easy to carry.
But every time you treat yourself badly, or allow somebody else to treat you badly., you toss a pebble into that rucksack. One pebble doesn’t weigh that much. You barely notice the difference.
Then you get into an argument with your partner or somebody close to you. You are convinced you are right and they can’t see it. You toss another pebble into the rucksack.
When you were younger, somebody once told you that you were ugly. Every time you remember that, you toss a pebble into that rucksack.
Somebody wronged you badly. It hurt. Really hurt. It was un-justified and cruel. You didn’t deserve it. They have not apologised to you. You toss another pebble into the rucksack.
Pretty soon you can see the ruck sack starts to become heavy. The accumulative weight builds up. Starts to get uncomfortable. In fact after a while you have to alter the way you stand as the weight becomes a bit too much. After a while you realise you are bent over trying to carry this rucksack. When you look in the mirror you barely recognise yourself bent double with the load.
Holding onto things does this to us. Situations, arguments, hurts, grievances, being the victim, loss, failure, these are all pebbles that get tossed into the rucksack.
Learning to let go lightens the load. Takes pebbles out of the rucksack. It can be really hard to do, I get that. Sometimes you need to forgive somebody, maybe even if they have not apologised. Sometimes you need to be the one apologising. Sometimes you just need to realise that other people hurting you is just their way of being hurt and learn to love them in their hurt.
Each time you let go, you lighten the load. It is a lifetimes work but it is a lifetimes work worth doing.