The choices we make


I wanted to share with you a little of my thoughts around choice.

Choice isn’t something you need to learn, or you have to buy. It isn’t reserved for the rich, the successful or the popular folks. Choice is something each one of us has.

What is important about choice is this – how you use your choice dictates who you are and how you are.
How does that work then? When something happens, how you choose to react to that is what defines you. For example if you have been wronged by somebody else, you have a choice how you react to that. You can choose to be a victim of the situation, to feel hurt, angered and revengeful. And those reactions all cost you as a person. Staying with hurt holds you in a place of being the victim. Feeling angered portrays you as an angry person, which is unattractive to others. Revenge builds bitterness which eats away at your inner core, costs you continual emotional energy and is unfulfilling.

And whilst each of those reactions may have been natural, real and even felt justified, there is an alternative to each of those – for instance instead of hurt you may have chosen forgiveness, even pity on the other person. Instead of anger you can express love. And instead of revenge possibly acceptance of the other person and who they are. Each of these is a possible alternative reaction which takes you to a very different place personally and allows you to be in a far more positive state.

I once heard a great quote that went like this “I don’t like that person, so I need to get to know them better”. That to me is a great illustration of exercising choice and a great perspective on getting along with people we find we don’t immediately connect with. Choosing to invest some time in a relationship that doesn’t seem quite right can take that relationship to a whole new level.

Choice therefore drives how we feel about ourselves and how we come across to others.

And we can choose so many things. We can choose to be happy. We can choose to be content. We can choose to forgive. We can choose to be grateful. We can choose to be engaging. We can choose to be kind. We can choose to love. We can choose to be available to others. We can choose to listen. We can choose to speak. We can choose to move forward or to stay stuck. Choice makes us who we are. We all do it. All the time.

Choose wisely.